By this time, a small preparation for my wedding day has begun. Do I get anxieties? All the freaking time, but handling it like a pro, the anxiety I mean, not the preparation. But if you need to know, I became the bridezilla. Everything doesn't seem to work on me or for me. Just few days ago I had a disagreement with my family about my wedding, and instead of facing it, I went to do my hair. I know, stop judging. Hashtag, priority.
I think my wedding preparation's timing is great, not too late and not too early. Just in between! But I don't know why I get the anxiety. Even when I go cari kain, I had a mini argument with the sales assistant, told her I want off white. She went and show me, the off white duchess that looks like a white to me. I said, are you sure? She said, yes this is for wedding. Okay, I know it is for wedding but are you sure the colour is off white? And then, she brings in another colour just to justify the whole situation and said "yang ini putih, yang itu off white miss" and then I was still in denial but before I make any scenes, I decided to take a few steps back and forth before deciding, maybe she realize I was afraid of making the wrong decision. So, she explained everything again and then I showed her the baju that I wanna do, and she said "Wah, cantiknya" with a tawau slang. Yes, very cantik right. That's why I cannot make any wrong decision :') but, hm I just went for it and took it. "Okay 4 setengah meter lah" I said while putting my trust in Allah. Ugh, so complicated right.
And then I went back home thinking, is it really off white.. and compare it with an off white tudung that I have. Turns out, no. It looks a bit more white than the tudung itself. Panic? Not yet. Told myself it is okay. When I went to send my kain to the tailor, which is my good friend, it was just a short and straightforward meeting. Just like how I imagine everything should be, short and super straightforward. Everyone understand what I want and make it happen. Walking out from the store, I told myself okay. No more thinking about it. But then, not even 30 minutes after. I whatsapp my friend and said "Can you make the tangan be like this?" and then she said, yes! Oh thank God. Again, I put my trust in Allah.
Bought 6 sets of kain for my bridesmaid. Made a bridesmaid proposal for each one of them, more like forcing them to just go. And alhamdulillah, settle on that. I really need my best friends on my big days, mostly because they know me too well. Gave them plain kain so they know how I felt on deciding my baju kahwin. Now, just have to do few more important things once Ewe is back. Bebeng couldn't come to my wedding because apparently, she'll be going back to Shah Alam for her studies. It was so sad that I couldn't really accept the truth but it's okay bestie, go and chase your dreams! I will be rooting for you, while panicking over my wedding.
So many things I have prayed so hard to Allah for my wedding, and one of it is to have all of my siblings on my wedding day. So, let's hope that will come true. Since I won't have my dad around, at least it is something that my dad will be proud of, that all of his children are together and I just thought having all my siblings in the same room would be nostalgic and cute.
But,
I just hope everything turns out perfectly, if not perfect at least a near-perfect. And at this moment, I just hope my eczema won't attack me so I have a very nice skin, that I can sleep peacefully so I wont look so haggard, that my work is okay so I tidak stress. But the first three things are already happening right now. Haa! Wish my fiance is here, hm not that he can do anything but at least we be stress together, but instead he suggest that we go diet and exercise together so we will look nice on our wedding attire.This smart boy, I have to agree lah, while scrolling through shoppee for some detox drinks.. hehe because i don't have time for the suggestions *add to cart* // before anyone come to me with lecture, I was just kidding!